I published it on another Site, many months before I created this one, and 3 full Years of experimenting before this Site truly began to take the form I've come to envision. One of the Moderators of that Site subsequently developed the Fantasy that being a Moderator made you some sort of Authority Figure, as a result of which I publicly humiliated him and banned that Site. I'm satisfied with the way things ended, there, but Indifference doesn't displace Contempt, and I see no reason to benefit them, even in a small way, by providing a Link thither.
This Mock includes some Suppositions that even I, in retrospect, consider preposterous.
But I figure: What The Hell?? I hope that by gradually building a readily available DataBase of Mock Drafts, BackDrafts, and Scouting Reports, I will provide myself with Learning Tools...and provide other with perhaps a few Chuckles!!
So here we go: Fanatical Yankee's First Mock Draft, from the Spring of 2010, lovingly Cut & Pasted:
What follows is the product of an overactive imagination, a deeply disturbing obsession with our Great Game, and an OCEAN of Fizzy Lifting Drinks!!
We ALL love FootBall, here, but I spend FAR too much time on it, I think it's safe to say...
Furthermore: This Theoretical Draft ~ my Heart's Desire ~ is presaged by an ORGY of Trades, all of which are more or less fair and just, to the best of my understanding of Value and Reality, but which are ~ taken as an whole ~ extremely aggressive, and the combination of which is LUDICROUSLY unlikely.
Of course, that is true of any Mock Draft, isn’t it?
In a Word: What Follows may strike you as astonishing and outlandish.
And you may very well be right.
First: Allow me ~ in the unlikely chance that you care to read it ~ to preface this CONVULSION of Trading and Drafting with an explanation of the Methodology that portends it:
1. Defense, Defense, Defense. Not only do I believe that Championships are most successfully pursued with Tenacious Defenses and great Front Walls on BOTH sides of the ball...I LOVE IT.
2. Running Backs: There are some excellent guys out there, but strong, powerfull, and fast RB's are often available in the 5th and 6th Rounds. Full Disclosure: I don’t give a rat’s @$$ about “Break Away Speed”. 80 Yard Blasts are fun and fine…But I am 100 times MORE interested in the guy who has a minimum of negative plays, moves the chains consistently, makes the first guy miss, and breaks off a few 15-20 yarders. It seems to me that these are the guys ~ not the Barry Sanders of the world ~ who help you dominate the Field of Play…and help you drive towards Championships.
3. WideOuts: The same is VERY true of WideOuts. And we all know they usually take 3 years to develop, so it’s not as if we can expect to address our immediate needs in the Draft. And as far as that’s concerned, we DO have Randy Moss and Julian Edleman, until Wes Welker makes it back. We have a very solid shot at picking up Deion Branch, who would be perfect, I think. And I would love to pick up Kevin Curtis and perhaps Mike Furrey, who’s a Scrapper I’ve always admired. Combine those ideas with the ascension of Edelman and Brandon Tate in their second years, and, frankly, I have no worries at ALL.
4. QuarterBacks: Need I say? Some of the best QB's in HISTORY are drafted late. And that is because Rocket Arms are VASTLY overrated, and Extraordinary Processing Speed and Killer Instinct are vastly UNDERRATED, as anyone who's ever heard of Tom Brady or Joe Montana ~ or that 9th Round reject, Johny Unitas ~ knows VERY well.
5. But I will spend LAVISHLY on Offense, when we're talking about The Front Wall. And I will draft EARLY.
6. Because of an Harmonic Confluence of Events ~ namely: a naturally occurring peak that happened to come this year, transmogrified into a TIDAL WAVE of Aggregate Talent by the pressure that next year's threatened LOCK OUT has engendered, in the form of early entries...I believe we are FESTOONED by a MONSOON of Talent in this year's draft, and I say we empty the cupboards, sell everything that isn't bolted down, and AMASS Dance Tickets to this EPIC Coming Out Party!!
Ready for the Insanity??
1: My favorite move of the draft: Trade Oakland's 2011 #1 to San Fransisco ~ who has the 13 and the 17, this year ~ for the 17th. This move is somewhat speculative, due, of course, to the uncertain destiny of Donovan McNabb, and what net affect his acquisition, by the Raiders, would have on the Market Value of their 2011 #1...But considering that 6 of the 7 teams that actually finished below Oakland this year are doing everything right, have Owners with most of their marbles in their heads, and stand a damned good chance of passing Oakland by, next year, I think it's just as likely that Oakland ~ even with McNabb ~ finishes in the 1-5 range, as it is that they finish 10-15th worst...and I think that San Fran knows this.
This move actually sets in motion a seismic chain of events that, combined with the powerful load of 2nd's that Coach Bill has amassed, could put us in position to gather, in one fell swoop, players of extraordinary aggregate talent all over the field...and allow us, by getting an ENORMOUS jump on the rest of the field...to SEIZE, in one amazing weekend, the foundations for an EPIC Offensive Line; one whose sheer DOMINATION will be remembered in the decades ~ and the centuries ~ to come.
2: The Cain Trade ~ trading Tully for a 3rd and a 5th ~ would be an enormous and critical step towards completing the process and giving us shocking command of the Draft's playing field, this year.
I like to joke about the insanity of the Cain Trade, but the reality is that it is, arguably, the sanest and ballsiest move of them all: The $6 Million Bonus that we've already paid him is a FRACTION of what we'd pay him over the next few years. By incurring that one-time expense, though, we buy the right to trade him, and by trading him ~ a guy who we all agree is a 3rd or 4th OLB, NOT a 1 or a 2 ~ we can replace his salary with that of a 6th or 7th Rounder from a Draft that is RICH with talent...and ~ probably during the Draft, when panic sets in for teams that gambled on OLB's dropping in the 2nd Round and LOST ~ trade him for a 3rd and a 5th to any number of teams that HAVE to come away with an OLB, and can sell that "10 Sacks" line to their fans...and to themselves.
Those two picks can then be packaged to New Orleans for #64.
The other moves:
3: With the 17th Pick anticipated, we can move C Dan Koppen, and gain considerable value for this stalwart, even after a poor season: To the Raiders for their 3rd, #70, I'm thinking.
4: With the 22nd Pick anticipated, we can move RT Nick Kaczur for good value to a team looking for a solid RT to anchor their Right Side: a 4th Rounder looks very attainable, and I'd then turn that 4th Rounder around, and swap it to for 2 5th's: Baltimore's pix @ #'s 157 + 158 look like a perfect match.
5: LT Matt Light, while he still has a few good years left in his excellent body of work, has already been eclipsed by Sebastian Vollmer, and should be moved, for an extremely early 4th Rounder, I'm confident, which we could then package with the #44 to move up to the #32, via New Orleans.
6: Clear out Maroney and Green for a 5th and a 6th, perhaps to the Lions and Falcons for #'s 133 + 171. Many think we could get more for Maroney. I would not refuse it.
Swapping the 2011 Oakland #1 for the 2010 17th would increase our Strategic Advantage in this year's Draft considerably ~ significantly beyond the "Book Value" of that pick, in my opinion: In an a Draft replete with an OCEAN of Talent, most teams would need to pick more conservatively; defensively.
I believe that WE, on the other hand, because of these bold moves and those which have preceded them, would seize an ASTONISHING Wealth of Options; that we would, in fact, take Full Command of the Playing Field...in a Draft For the Ages:
Without further ado...
I’ve read, from sources that I’ve come to put a lot of stock in, that Pouncey is one of the best Centers to come along in several years. Everything I read speaks to the same theme: a Frightening combination of Power, Quickness, Fluidity…and Ferocity.
No, that is NOT a Typo. I don’t believe in a scattershot approach to FootBall. I’m all set with filling in here and there. I want a DOMINANT Front Wall. I want a Front Wall that will DESTROY the Enemy. Brown is not of Pouncey’s caliber, but he would be, I believe, an immediate and dramatic upgrade to Nick Kaczur. Indeed, he’s good enough to be a Left Tackle, and a damned good one. I would leave it up to Coach Bill who plays where. What I want, as a Fan, is to see us pinion this Front Wall for the next decade with 2 Beasts of Power, Athleticism, and Ferocity. I’d like to see this converted Tight End get stronger, but of course if he was a completed product, he’d be long gone at 22. The Gods have been kind enough to deliver us the extraordinary skills and dedication of Dante Scarnecchia, and I do believe that under his tutelage, Mr Brown would, indeed, take full command of his enormous Potential.
Full Disclosure: I am absolutely GIDDY about this guy. Hughes offers a FRIGHTENING combination of Explosiveness and Fluidity. The ability to radically change directions quickly enough to make a difference is a Gift From the Gods…and Hughes has it. Combine that with DEVASTATING explosiveness, and you have a guy that I am PRAYING we get. He’s listed behind Graham in the vast majority of reports, and as low as 4th, among OLB’s – and I pray this is still true in 3 weeks! – but I would want him before ALL of them.
Alualu offers a delicious blend of FirePower, Athleticism, Versatility, and, above all: Enthusiasm: The guy NEVER STOPS. While he doesn’t have Top Shelf skills, he’s got enough of everything, and his persistence and sheer love for the game is the sort of thing that impacts a team WELL beyond his Stat Line. He strikes me as the kind of guy who ~ 15 years later ~ you wonder: How in HELL did he accomplish all that?? He’s the kind of guy who ~ I strongly suspect ~ will make HUGE plays, on occasion…and make them when they count the most. Richter drew a comparison to Teddy Ice Cold Bruschi, and I could NOT agree MORE.
Worilds gets me ALL fired up!! He isn’t as polished as the other guys ~ hence his 3rd Round Projection ~ but he has a devastatingly explosive First Step; arguably the best of the OLB’s in ALL the Land!! He’s Quick, and he’s Fluid. There are definitely stronger guys, and that’s probably the biggest reason why he’s expected to be available, here. But that actually speaks to a very exciting aspect of this guy, because by all accounts he improved dramatically in that regard, last year, which makes me think his Upside Momentum will bring him very far, indeed!
In a VERY deep Tight End Class, Hernandez, who is not of prototypical size, at 6’2”, could quite possibly be available a LOT later; even a full round later…But I do NOT want to risk that. Gentlemen, I believe this young man has some Magic. He’s allegedly too short, and he could be stronger, but he has an amazing natural dexterity and coordination, he’s got exceptional speed, excellent instincts, and a penchant for making the big play. I read a lot of Dallas Clark comparisons, and one to Vernon Davis. Both those guys are 6’3”, which would’ve been considered rather short for a Tight End, very recently. My thinking is that, as the Game is becoming Faster and increasingly oriented towards the Passing Game and Speed, we’re seeing positions that used to call for Immobile Beasts evolve into the Fast and the Furious: Safety, Middle LineBacker, CornerBack, and, yes: OutSide LineBacker ~ both Hughes and Worilds are 6’2” ~ and Tight End. I LOVE this guy, and I believe he’s going to be a Devastating Weapon.
What a MONSTER. As those of you who've been following the Draft closely know, Easley has come out of nowhere to skyrocket up the boards, and it's ~ quite frankly ~ difficult to assess where such a rapidly moving target will land. Easley is, simply, the fastest big Wide Out in the Draft: 6'3", 207 Pounds, and he BLASTED a 4.39!!! His blend of Size, Speed, Strength, and tenacious Blocking could very well produce the most Dominant Wide Out in the entire DRAFT!! Yet, because he's raw, and because his thin resume is scary, it is going to be very difficult to take the plunge on this kid...unless you have the unshakable confidence of Coach Bill Belichick.
Oh, I have GOT to get the Rhodes Scholar on this team!! It’s hard to gauge where Rolle gets drafted: A year ago, he was considered by some to be a First Day pick, and now we’re all wondering how long it’ll take him to get up to speed, after a year away from FootBall. He could go as late as the 6th, I suppose, but once again: He’s the man, and I’d rather be a little early, than a little late. In any case, he’ll probably move up considerably on the 7th, when he performs his televised WorkOut, but we should still be able to get him in the 4th, with the bounty of Strong Safeties available. I expect he’d take a couple years to redevelop his game, and unleash his considerable potential, but let me say that when I read about so many people questioning his dedication to the game ~ because of the year in England, pursuing his degree in NeuroSurgery ~ I get VERY excited: The level of Dedication, Focus, and Ambition that this move showed is a tremendous mark in his FAVOR, and the more NFL teams that see it as one against him, the later we can STEAL him!!
An extremely exciting combination of Size and Speed, Spikes is NOTORIOUS for rapid reactions and destructive impact!! He’s Fluid, he’s Agile, he’s Smart, and he is VICIOUS. Best of all, his mates can NOT say enough about his Enthusiasm, his Passion, and his natural gravitation towards Leadership. Probably the 2nd best ILB prospect, behind McClain, but his Stock is under fire, due to a slow “40” time. All the better for us!!
I've been advised by those wiser than I ~ and gracious enough to take the time ~ than I'd originally slotted Spikes WAY too early, so I have moved him back, quite possibly nowhere near enough!! But I'm going to make a bet on this guy: I would LOVE to see him and Jerod Mayo line up together for the next 10 years!!
LOVE him. Patient. Quick. Sudden. And built like an Horse. He works with his Line Men, waiting for the Blocks, he’s shifty enough to make the first guy miss, and he’s a tenacious and scrappy Blocker, who has natural pass-catching instincts. He does NOT have Break Away Speed, and for that I am VERY grateful, because that is, of course, why ~ combined with a very deep RB Draft Class ~ he is generally expected to be available, this late!!
It’s pretty sketchy to project where Karim goes off the boards, as his Stock has been rocking since his spectacular work on his Pro Day. Deji started off ~ despite a dominating season at Southern Illinois ~ as generally being projected as a 7th or a Free Agent…But his SPECTACULAR performance on Pro Day confirmed that there’s real skill behind the show. Quite possibly, he’d be available, later, but THIS is the guy: He’s amazingly quick, incredibly strong for his 5’9’’ frame, and devastatingly fast. Running Back is another position that’s getting smaller and faster, as Mojo Drew and Darren Sproles ~ to say nothing of Priest Holmes, before them ~ are showing. Nevertheless, a rich and deep RB Draft Class seems to be working greatly in the favor of the team that is wise and prescient enough to SEIZE this guy. Here’s hoping it’s us!!
I LOVE this guy’s Story: As a child born in Communist Romania, he lived through Revolutionary upheavals, and lived so close to the fighting that he and his family sometimes hit the floor in their own home to avoid flying bullets!! His parents are both highly educated Engineers, but had to have a stroke of wonderufull luck and win an Diversity Immigrant Visa LOTTERY to hit America, 12 years ago!! Zoltan the Magnificent Magyar speaks English, German, Spanish, Hungarian, and Romanian. He’s left-footed, he’s a 6’5” BEAST, and he’s the best Punter in the Draft. So once again: I want to get in ahead of the crowd!!
Geathers is a prototypical Project; a guy who has, thus far, only shown glimpses of his vast potential, and his College was shocked when he declared for the Draft. But he has excellent blood lines, and he’s shown enough Quickness, enough Strength, and enough Speed and Flexibility to warrant hope that, at some point, good coaching will be able to unleash the FirePower compressed into this 6’8’’ 285 pound BEAST. A classic late round Opportunity that could potentially reap VAST benefits.
Davis greatly intrigues me. Like most prospective OLBs, he was a DE in College. He got a lot of bad reviews for his clumsy attempt to switch over to OLB for the East-West Shrine Game, and it seems that that may be hurting his Stock. It seems clear that he’s not very good at defending the Run, and as a Rusher, he isn’t particularly quick off the Snap. But he commands plenty of Power and Strength, excellent natural Quickness and Fluidity, and he strikes me as a diligent technician who’s always going to get the most out of what he has. He sounds like a legitimate Pass Rush Specialist at the next level, and could contribute, really soon, precisely where we most need help. I would LOVE to get him!!
Fitzgerald is an interesting prospect. There are plenty of questions about him: His effort has been inconsistent, and he hasn’t shown particularly impressive Burst, Flexibility, Explosiveness, or, frankly, Instincts. But at his team’s Pro Day, he exhibited eye-opening speed: His 4.8+ time in the 40 would’be placed him in the Top 15 of Defensive Ends…And his 4.3 time in the Short Shuttle would’ve placed him in the Top 2!! Those stats, particularly combined with his powerful 6’4” 270 Pound frame, speak to raw Power more reflective of a 3rd-5th Rounder. And he has certainly shown Strength, Power, and Suddenness, and has delivered stellar work against the Run. The potential is definitely there, particularly as a 2 Down end, if he can beef up a little more, and if he gets good coaching: It’s up to him.
This is a player some of you know well, as I observed when I was researching him. Konz, to repeat a term that’s been applied, OH so aptly, to him…is a FREAK. He wasn’t invited to the combine, and I thank the Gods for that, as it offers a prayer that the wise workers of Coach Bill and Crew will be so lucky and so prescient as to pluck him from the Ether: He’s a former LineBacker, built like a Tight End, who played one year as H Back, whose Short Shuttle time would’ve been 2nd among Tight Ends, and whose 40 Time would also have been 2nd, while his combined times were clearly better than the ALL of them..and his Verticle Leap would’ve ANNIHILATED THE FIELD. Not Tight Ends. EVERYBODY.
Why is he projected to the 7th Round? Because he is a former LineBacker who has only one year of Offensive experience, and that is as an H Back, which many teams don’t even use, and which is probably not his projected position: He’s going to need some work!
Put me down for a WHOLE lotta THAT. This guy is a MONSTER. I PRAY we bring him to New England, and that our crack staff of Coaches helps this extraordinary athlete harness his IMMENSE potential…And, meanwhile, he can earn his keep on Spec Teams.
What I most like about this guy are the accolades he gets for his Instincts, his Processing Speed ~ Reading + Reacting ~ and his Passion and Intensity!! Just reading his quotes, his Love for the Game is plainly obvious. He’s not particularly strong, and can definitely be run on, but he is both physically and mentally Quick, he’s Explosive, and he has the Burst to make plays, and a tremendous Enthusiasm for the Game that I would LOVE the Patriots to have in their locker room!!
Another guy with tremendous potential, Middleton has exhibited powerful Lateral Movement, a punishing Burst off the ball, great strength in his Bull Rush, and superior Quickness to shed Blocks. To his detriment, he is successfully run on far too often, plays with inconsistent effort, and perpetrates too many penalties. But there’s little doubt he’s got a Skill Set that, IF he applies himself, and is helped to harness it, will forge a useful Weapon.
I am so grateful for the excessive Value that is attributed to Break Away Speed. Marshall has none of it, and at a short 5’10”, a lack of Pile Power, and with an arrest record ~ Pot ~ his Stock has plummeted all the way to 7th Rounder – Possible Free Agent. Well, that is just wonderful, if you ask ME. Marshall has a great initial Burst, and an exceptional combination of Quickness, Vision, Fluidity, Balance…and wonderful Instincts to harness them all. He doesn’t Push the Pile, but with the Line I’m fantasizing about, we don’t need Jerome Bettis: we need Tacticians with Burst, Vision…and the Discipline to manage themselves, make the most of each Run…and Move the Chains. I would be DELIGHTED to risk a pick on Marshall at this point.
Free Agent: IB Mike McLaughlin
Free Agent: IB Josh Hull
Free Agent: EL Aaron Morgan
Free Agent: RT Jeff Linkenbach
Free Agent: RT Mike Tepper
Free Agent: C Kevin Matthews
Free Agent: C Garrett Anderson
Free Agent: IB Ross Conner
Free Agent: IB Matt Mayberry
Free Agent: WR Trinton Holliday
Free Agent: WR Jeremy Horne
Free Agent: WR Leroy Vann
Free Agent: WR Brandon Banks
Free Agent: RT Nick Richmond
Free Agent: FS Anthony Levine
Free Agent: FS Mike Newton
Free Agent: TE Mike Palmer
Free Agent: IB Vincent Rey
Free Agent: DT Sean Lissemore
Free Agent: EL Danny Batten
Yeah, I KNOW I've lost it!!
STILL...while that team might take 8-12 weeks to gel...imagine how good they could be, for the next 5-10 years???
Addendum: Did y’all know that Charles Brown ~ our prospective new Tackle ~ was actually a Special Teams player in his earlier years??
Didn’t work out too well, though…
Proceed, if you dare.
I'll PageDrop, for the protection of the faint of heart...